


The After

by QueenBeeComplex



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Coping, Epilogue, F/M, Gen, No one ever talks about what happens to johanna so, Platonic Relationships, Recovery, i have some thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:27:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24358789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenBeeComplex/pseuds/QueenBeeComplex
Summary: With Finnick gone, Annie finds comfort in the most unlikely person - Johanna Mason. Soon, Annie learns living without Finnick doesn't mean living alone.
Relationships: Annie Cresta/Finnick Odair, Annie Cresta/Johanna Mason
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> Did some thinking about what happens to Annie and Johanna after the end of the books and honestly fell a little bit in love with the idea of them just developing this beautiful platonic relationship.

"I have to go."

His forehead is pressed to mine. I can feel his heartbeat thump under my hand.

"Finnick, please. It's not enough time."

His lips press to my brow, soft yet firm. He drags his fingers through my hair. I can sense that he doesn't want to leave, just yet. He doesn't want to let me go. I don't want to let him go.

"It's the only way. I can't stay here and do nothing."

Let go. I have to tell myself a few times before my body responds to the command.

"I know."

I pull him in closer, press my lips to his, one last time. He tastes of salt and grain.

"I love you," he whispers against my lips.

"I love you." Let go.

There's a knock at the door of our compartment. "Soldier O'daire, it's time to go."

Let go.

The door slides open. Finnick raises my hand to his lips, kisses my fingers. Then his hand slips away, and so does he. Out of the door. Out of District 13. Out of sight.

I swallow my sob. He might still come back. I just have to wait.

Let go.

-

Mentally disoriented. That's what the little purple letters on my wrist read. There's a schedule. I kind of follow it. I go to the classes. I enjoy learning. And I've taken up weaving. It's repetitive, and soothing. It's useful. Right now, I can only make rectangles, but there is no lack for need of blankets and towels. At least what I make isn't going to waste.

At first, I don't know what to do during reflections. I sit. I think. I find myself thinking about Finnick. Plutarch comes by with a report every few days. They're still alive. They've moved in deeper. They've been successful thus far. They just might actually pull this off.

It helps, and it doesn't. He's still alive. The further into the Capitol he goes, the more danger he will be in.

I start to accept that I may never see him again.

Let go.

-

I feel nervous all the time. Reports back from the Capitol are fewer and further in between. The stress of not knowing makes me nauseous. I don't want to eat the gray porridge and radishes. Just the smell of the radishes makes me sick, and they don't taste any better coming back up.

"If you're not gonna eat that, I will."

I look up, startled, into Johanna's wide brown eyes. "S-sure." My voice sounds so unsteady.

Johanna reaches across the table and stabs her fork into one of the boiled radishes and then pops it into her mouth chewing meditatively. "They took Peeta yesterday. I can't for the life of me think why they would let someone so unstable out there. Especially after they told me no."

My eyebrows crinkle together in confusion. "You wanted to go?"

"Hell yeah, I wanted to go. I wanted to kill Snow, myself. Make sure he stays dead."

"Why wouldn't he..." I shake my head, not able to push through the haze of thought.

Johanna's eyes roll. "Because the little viper drinks poison like it's champagne. But he can't live without a heart. If I had it my way, I'd-"

I stop listening after that. I do have enough experience with Johanna to know when her rants are of the violent sort, and it's much easier to tune her out than to drag myself back from a panic attack.

I slow my breathing and wait for reality to slip away.

Let go.

-

I start going to her hospital room after that, though I'm not sure why. Maybe because she and I are the only Victors left in 13, except for Haymitch. Maybe because she's the only person who doesn't seem to mind when I zone out while she's speaking.

It's not like I try to zone out, most of the time. I just find it hard to stay in the present. Finnick was always the one to keep me here, to keep my mind from drifting off to the horrors of the past. To the games. I feel as if I never left the arena. I think, in some ways, maybe all the surviving Victors feel this way.

A bony, callused hand covers mine; Johanna's gentle way of drawing me back to reality.

"What? I didn't catch that."

The smile she gives me is sharp, like the rest of her, but her eyes are somehow gentle. "You should head back to your cabin, try to get some rest."

I shake my head. "I can't. I can't sleep without him. There's too much... too much..."

She hushes me, with soft whispers. "You slept in the Capitol, at least sometimes."

"Only from exhaustion. And only because I wasn't alone. Peeta used to talk to me. You did too, sometimes."

She snorts. "Crass remarks here and there, yeah."

"You wouldn't be you if they were of any other sort. That's how I knew they hadn't broken you. You kept fighting."

Her smile softens. There is a darkness in her eyes. Sorrow maybe?

"Would you like to sleep in here?" She asks. "I'm sure they could make an exception, after all we've been through. Plus, it would be nice not to be alone for once."

I nod, hesitantly. I don't want to let go of her hand.

"Soldier O'daire. Visiting hours are over."

I jump. I can't help it. My hand pulls out of Johanna's grasp.

Let go.

"Actually," Johanna drawls in her give-me-what-I-want-or-else voice. "I was thinking she could stay with me."

"Soldier Mason, you know the rules. Visiting hours are over."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Everyone's always on my ass about 'connecting with people' and 'not being alone' but the second I actually want to keep company, you shut me down! You did it with Katniss and now with Annie?" Johanna audibly scoffed. "No. She stays."

"But, Soldier Mason-"

"She stays with me, or I go with her. Take your pick."

The soldier lifts a comminicuff to his mouth and says something too quiet for me to catch. Moments later, another bed is rolled into Johanna's room. "She can stay for tonight, Soldier Mason. Someone will be here in the morning to discuss some more permanent living arrangements for you." Then, with the sharp militaristic movement all the native 13ers have, he turns and leaves us to settle.

"Thank you," I breathe.

Johanna just shrugs. "I miss the company. Come on. You should really get some sleep."

I stand, my legs stiff and weary shake underneath me. The bed is on wheels, and at least light enough for me to push it against Johanna's. "Just in case..."

"So you don't wake up alone. I understand."

I nod, ever so hesitantly, then climb into the bed. The sheets here are softer than in the sleeping bunks. I guess it makes sense, for the infirmary to have the best quality available.

Just as I was starting to settle, I felt a small, callused hand close over mine. "I'll be right here." There was a softness in Johanna's voice I never thought I'd ever hear. "I'm here. You can let go."


	2. We Wait

It's way too early and I do not want to be fucking awake right now. But Annie's in the washroom puking her guts out. "Could you be any louder?" I try rolling over, ignoring her, going back to sleep, but that annoying voice in the back of my head is, like, attached or something.

"Do you think it's the flu? Should I warn the district?" Annie looks so small and helpless, standing in the doorway in a too big gray t-shirt, her red hair all a frizzy mess.

The eye roll is habitual at this point. I drag myself to sitting in my bunk. "No."

"No to which? The flu, or warning the district?"

I groan in irritation. This is SO not what I want to be doing right now. "Both."

Her eyebrows get all crinkled up the way they do when she's trying to remember something. "How long?" Her voice is soft when she says it.

I tilt my head to the side. "Would you like some help, Annie?"

She nods, weakly.

With a huff, I push myself out of the bunk and cross over to her. "He's been gone about two months now." I smooth her hair on one side. Her hands both grasp onto my arm in a vice grip, anchoring herself in reality. "Last we heard, all the other Victors are still alive. We're all still here."

She nods, again. Wide, scared green eyes flash up to gaze into mine. "He's still alive."

"He's still alive, yes."

She swallows hard. I can see her trying to calculate something in her mind. "I can't..." she trails off again.

"Annie?"

Her eyes flick back up to mine.

"When was the last time you bled?"

She blinks at me, as if dazed. Then slowly, her mind tracks back around, eyes widening. "You don't think..."

"Well I'm assuming you had sex with your husband."

She flinches away at the sharpness of my words. I close my eyes and exhale, composing myself.

"Shit, Annie, I'm sorry." I let my hands drop to the waistband of my sweat pants, lightly tapping out a pattern against my hips.

"Yes." Her voice is barely audible. Scared, even.

I nod. "Okay, what do you want to do?"

Her green eyes are so full of fear when she looks up at me. She shakes her head, rapidly. "I can't. I can't. I can't."

I close the space between us and take up both her hands in mine. "Can't, what, Annie?"

Her breathing picks up, a signal I've learned precedes panic. "I....I-I-I-I I can't I just can't I-"

"Annie." My voice is firm yet gentle. "Look at me. You're safe. You're in District 13. I'm right here with you. No one can hurt you here. I'm right here."

Her eyes soften. Her whole body is shaking in my hands, but her breathing is beginning to slow. She sets her jaw and nods a bit. "Johanna?"

"Yes, Annie?" I manage to keep the bite out of my voice.

"What do I do?"

I stay quiet for a long minute, slowly considering the options. "You wait," I finally reply. "None of the options are easy. So you wait and you think about it."

She gives me a hesitant nod. "O-okay. I wait."

The pain is so clear in her eyes, I can almost feel it for myself. "Come on. Come back to bed. I'll hold you."

I receive another shakey nod in return, and lead her slowly across the room to the lower bunk. She climbs in first, against the wall, and I duck under after her. Her frame is small even in my arms as she presses her head against my shoulder, hiding from the world.

We wait.

-

The sound of the Capital Anthem rings through the cafeteria, and I find myself instinctively looking up. But it's the first cannon shot that has me curling in on myself. Then I see Annie out of the corner of my eye, her eyes locked on the screen with an expression of horror. One by one, with each shuddering cannon, the faces of my fellow Victors appear with their names and districts in flashing letters. Katniss. Finnick. Peeta. Then the other members of the unit. Gale. Cressida. Boggs.

Before I can stop myself, before I can pull up my guise of indifference, my arms are reaching for Annie.

She's wailing. It's a sound I've heard from her before. The heartwrenching, desperate scream that only comes from loss. Her nails start digging into my arms in a vain attempt to cling to me. I respond by holding her closer and letting my instinct drag us both under the table where it's safe.

Annie is shaking in my arms. Her body has curled into a ball, pulling herself in as small as possible. I can tell she's crying but her sobs have fallen silent.

Despite the fear coursing through me, my immediate attention is shifted onto the woman shaking in my arms. "Annie..." I say her name softly, right into her ear. "Annie, come back to me." I stroke my fingers clumsily through her tangle of red hair. "Come on, girl, come back to me. It's okay. You're safe. I've got you. You're safe."

I distantly register the sound of Coin's voice, already spinning my fellow Victors - no, my friends - into martyrs. The Capitol is being blocked out, at least for now.

Then the table is moving from over top of us. "Soldier Mason, Soldier O'daire. There you are." The man who spoke is reaching down for us, and Annie shrieks and burrows into me.

Instinct has me pulling her tighter against my chest. I hiss like a wild animal and jerk backwards out of their reach. Right now, I am not in a safe place. I'm in the arena, and everyone except the woman clinging to me is an enemy.

Another soldier reaches out to try and pull Annie's hand from my shoulder. Without thinking, I bite his hand. He yelps and pulls away, shaking the now bleeding limb in surprise.

A third soldier approaches, and I catch the glint of yellow light off the metal of a needle. Then I'm the one shrieking, arms tightening under Annie's arms as I raise to my feet and begin to stumble backwards, dragging her with me. But our pursuer is moving much faster and he's more stable on his feet than I am. He catches my arm and I'm trying to tuck Annie behind me and pull us both back to the ground out of his reach when I hear a familiar voice.

"Stop!" The command is clear and high pitched, like a child's voice. A tiny figure dressed in white steps between the soldiers and pushes the needle away from me. "Is this really necessary, Soldier Wright?"

He gestures towards me, then towards the other soldiers. "She's aggressive!"

"No, she's scared," replies the tiny girl. Her face finally turns towards me, and I can see so much of Katniss in her.

"P-Prim..." I don't think she hears my stuttered recognition.

"Look at this from her perspective. The sound of the Capitol anthem, followed by the cannons used to announce death in the arena in which she was not once, but twice forced to fight for her life. Not only that, but she's just learned that everyone she knows and trusts, save for the person in her arms, is now dead. And you large, armed men are trying to take her away, too."

Prim is standing with hands on her hips, her back straight as she addresses the men surrounding us.

"The President ordered they be brought to her. What else are we supposed to do if she's lashing out?!"

"You wait." The statement is a simple one, but it causes outrage among the soldiers.

"Wait? What part of 'The President ordered,' don't you understand, GIRL?"

Prim pulls herself up, straighter. "I don't care who ordered what. These people are frightened. They deserve the space to calm down and process what they've just learned. Now back off."

"We have to take them to President Coin," another soldier insists.

"You can tell President Coin that Soldiers Mason and O'daire are in healer custody, and that we will inform her when they are well enough for visitors."

Prim doesn't wait for the soldiers to acknowledge her words. She's turning and falling to her knees before me. "Johanna? Is it okay if I help you up?"

Annie whimpers and clenches her hands into my shirt. I shake my head, no, and continue to stroke Annie's hair.

"Okay. Then we will wait." She folds her hands neatly in her lap and rests back on her feet. Comfortable. Composed. Relaxed. Nonthreatening.

The soldiers disperse one by one, apparently called off to other more pressing matters. The other onlookers dwindle away as well as their schedules dictate their return to classes or jobs. But Prim stays stationed before us, her big blue eyes wandering around the room in a relaxed form of surveillance I recall from Katniss's general behavior.

Finally, when Prim is the only other person left with us in the cafeteria, Annie let's go of me. Her eyes are wide and scared, and she moves a hand down to her stomach in a way that forms a lump in my throat.

"Annie," Prim addresses, gently.

Her head snaps around in panic, and I find myself reaching to soothe her further.

"Do you think we could move to the infirmary, now?" Prim doesn't drop eye contact. She speaks in a calm, level voice that seems to ease the panic in Annie's eyes.

Annie looks to me, her lower lip trembling. I offer a reassuring nod. Once she echoes my movement, we stand, together.

"Annie, I'm going to wrap my arm around you on this other side, to help you stand. Is that okay?"

Bless Prim and her gentle voice. Annie responds with a hesitant nod, and we're on our way out of the cafeteria and just down the hall to the infirmary. Prim unlocks the door with a symbol inked onto her wrist. Then Annie is settled into a bed, the covers pulled up under her arms. She doesn't let go of my hand.

"Annie, I have to draw some blood. Just a drop, for your admittance." Prim is already pulling supplies from the drawers built into the wall. "Can I have your hand, so I can prick your finger?"

I squeeze Annie's hand. Hesitantly, she offers the other to Prim, who is thankfully proficient at finger pricking. Within a few seconds, Prim has a drop of blood on a slide, and Annie is curling, mutely, into my side.

"Now what?" I ask, fingers stroking Annie's hair.

Prim inhales, slowly. "I'll have a second bed brought in if she's not responsive enough to return to your room by lights out. But for now, we wait."

So we wait.

-

"You're pregnant, Annie, do you understand?"

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as my suspicions are confirmed. Annie is curled up in the very small ball that means she has completely withdrawn within herself. I struggle to maintain control of the situation.

"This isn't a good time. Really, she probably can't even hear you."

Prim tucks a stray hair behind her ear. She turns to the doctor she's assigned to, looking for guidance, but the tall, bald, bespectacled man is mute in the way of advice. "I just thought she should know before the news got back to President Coin."

"I understand, Prim, really. But this isn't about President Coin or District 13." I run my fingers through the short hair atop my head. "She JUST lost her husband, what, five hours ago? And now you spring this on her!"

I hear Annie whimper at the rising volume of my voice, but I'm already fired up.

"For fuck's sake, let the woman breathe! Give her some space! Let her come to terms with her loss and her-her-her-her gain and and just get OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT! Leave us alone! Why can't you fucking leeches leave us a-God damn-lone?"

"Johanna!" Prim's voice is clear and stern. She straightens her back and takes a step forward. She looks so much like her sister like this that it just snaps me out of it.

I swallow hard. "Please...just...we need time."

Prim's small hand comfortingly cups my arm. "Babies don't wait for anyone. I know you just lost what few friends you had in this world. I just lost my sister. But Annie can't do this alone. She needs support, and she needs it from someone who understands what she's been through. She needs you."

I nod, and force back my rage. There's something about being called out by a child that puts things into perspective. "Can we...just" I shake my head, fighting back the intrusive thoughts.

"What do you need?" Prim's voice is soothing, steady.

"We need...we need time. We need to figure this out. We need...we need...we need Finnick. I'm no good at this shit!" I throw up my arms, knocking Prim's away.

"Well, clearly, you're at least a little bit good at it. Annie responds to you better than anyone else."

"Well, yeah, but that's 'cause she knows me. I'm the only person left here that she knows. Of course she's developed an attachment." I can feel the maniacal laughter bubbling up in the back of my voice.

The tiny blonde purses her lips and turns towards her supervising doctor and the other nurse in the room. "If you would excuse us. I believe the medical portion of this conversation has come to an end. What the patients need is a friend. Should they come to a conclusion regarding the medical aspects of this situation, I will inform a superior."

The other nurse looks towards the doctor for permission to exit. I can see the battle within his mind, whether to leave an untrained nurse's assistant in a room with a traumatized, volatile victor. His eyes are shifting from Prim to me with concern. Finally, he gives a short nod, and turns towards the door with a comment about a soldier posted just outside.

"Sit with me, Johanna." Prim pulls two of the folding visitor chairs from the cubby in the wall and sets them side by side. When she sees me hesitate, she lowers herself into a chair and crosses her legs in a proper fashion that's so unlike her sister. "Whenever you're ready. I'll wait."

"How am I supposed to help her?"

Prim shrugs, leaning back in her chair. "Sometimes, all a person needs is someone to love them."

The words hit me like a punch in the gut. "Love?"

The reassuring smile knocks me off my feet, and I'm forced to lower myself into the offered chair. "Katniss told me she thought you were incapable of love. I don't agree. You love her. I can see it. And I think it scares you that Annie has wormed her way into your rough exterior."

I feel rage boiling. "You don't know me. You don't know anything about me."

"Perhaps not, but I am very observant. And I've been watching you since you were brought here. Since before then, actually, if you count the games. You make yourself unapproachable, either by your beauty or by your attitude. And yet..."

"She needs someone." I can hear the defensiveness in my voice. "I can't just leave her to fend for herself. I promised Finnick I'd take care of her."

Prim nods. "So take care of her. Wait for her. Fight for her. Love her. She needs someone to lean on. Someone to hold on to, to keep her here, to help her through this. You're all she has left, Johanna. You, and that child inside her."

"Yeah." The laughter is back. "Child. That's the sticky bit." I shake my head, trying to pull the stupid, sarcastic smile off my face. "What the hell do I know about raising a child?"

Somehow, Prim's laughter is almost comforting. "You've got seven months to figure that out. And you're not doing it alone. You and Annie can do this. Together."

"I'm not ready."

"No one is ever ready. That's what Mama always said to new parents when they came to her in 12."

I don't realize how much I've been chewing at my lips until I taste blood. "What do I do?"

"The only thing you can do. You wait."

I swallow hard. Prim's words echo around in my head. But the blonde is already standing and folding her chair, tucking it back into the wall.

"Take your time. You'll want to be here when she comes back to the present. She'll need you. And I have a feeling you need her too." With that, Prim leaves us.

So I do the only thing I can. I climb up into Annie's bed and pull her into my arms. Her body uncurls just enough for me to slide my arm between her stomach and her knees. Then I just hold her. I hold her, and I wait.

We wait.


End file.
